Close the windows and shut out the noise the annoying teenager is making on his hairdryer motored scooter.
Tell the kids Aslan is hiding in the cupboard then lock them in there.
Pour lighter fluid on the phone and chuckle as it melts.
Throw the telly out of the house like an aged coke addled rock god.
Ease a bottle of red from the wine rack and marvel as it sloshes like the nectar of life into your thirsty glass.
Slip out the Kindle that Santa brought you, all the while gnashing your teeth in mourning for the demise of dead-tree literature.
Ssssshhhh... What is that sound?
Faint, like the whisper of a promise once told. Faint, like a memory faded by the glare of time.
It is the wail of the Valkyries as they rejoice in near orgasmic delight. It is the gasp of the goblin as his viscera decorates the battlefield like slithery bunting. It is the lament of the sword-wives as they reassemble the scattered body components of their warrior spouses.
It is the sound of Epic Fantasy.
It is the arrival of Dreams of Darkness Rising....
Now on FIBP
Now on Amazon Kindle
And in the US of A at http://amzn.to/DarknessRising
Enjoy! And remember to let the kids out before the dwarf with the Turkish delight gets them...